Jonah – constant companion, heart of my heart. He’s always there. Always. Until one day, he isn’t. 

The first clue is pinned to his pillow:  “Follow the flowers. What’s in a name?”  

I rush to our lovingly tended rose garden. He’s so proud of his floribundas, says they’ll win first prize this year. Sure enough, under recently turned earth, a metal box holds the next clue. “Wake up!”  

I briefly think of morning glory and the café au lait dahlia. But then I remember Jonah’s motto: “Everyone should splurge on an afternoon nap”. I turn to the bed of four o’clocks.  In a waterproof plastic bag, another handwritten note: “Beyond the chrysalis”.   

No luck with butterfly weed or butterfly bush.  

Jonah – golden-haired, blue-eyed soul mate, lover of flowers. Thoughts of his blue eyes lead me to the blue butterfly delphinium.  A painted rock holds the next clue: “Fall gentleman”.  He’s been painting all Four Gentlemen, the chrysanthemum half finished. 

The grass around the apricot mums is flattened to spell “Mardi Gras”.  Lenten roses, in mauve and pale green and cream.  We searched the nurseries for every possible color.  The Hellebore clue is red cellophane, from my bridal bouquet.  Tulips.  I start the car and head for the tulip field. 

Excited to remember our wedding the glorious tulips his beautiful eyes his voice like velvet his gentle hands. Lost in thought, I drive right past them then turn around.  As far as I can see, bright red blooms.   

Standing among the tulips, Jonah, dressed in his wedding clothes, golden hair shining, arms outstretched. Jonah – my cherished husband, love of my life.  

Then suddenly, I can truly see. I’m in a forsaken corn field, surrounded by the stubble and dead stalks of a long ago harvest.  I’m clutching a scarecrow, with strips of tattered suit blowing in the cold wind, and straw hair shining like gold.  I’m falling, falling, falling. 

Then a beloved voice and strong arms around me: “Dearest love, I’m here. I’ll always be here. Always. I’ll never leave you.” 

Jonah – light of my darkness, my other self, my world.

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Juma